Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Script Revision

This is part of my script that can use less description:
"The 9 year old kids walk to the park with their heads down. Disappointed in themselves. The go to a local park where they could swing and think through their next move."
This is how it would be revised:
"The 9 year olds walk to the park with their heads down. They go to a local park where they could think through their next move."

No comments:

Post a Comment